For the Mayan-following-2012-will-be-the-end-of-the-world types, there are plenty of indicators in the economy and pop-culture that the ancient civilization’s prognostications will come to fruition. All in the last few weeks, the European economy burns, the golden couple of our generation breaks up, and one of the most shocking revelations in modern times has become public. This can only mean one thing: the zombies are coming.
On a serious note, you can buy a Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit. It comes with thermal goggles (wont help you against White Walkers), battle knives, scopes, med kits, laser optics, and other cool gadgets (rifles and ammo sold separately). The kit costs $24,000, a reasonable price to pay for your survival against the oncoming invasion of the undead.
The iPhone app Zombies, Run is a device that prepares you for the oncoming zombie invasion. The app simulates the attack by narrating the futuristic story as you workout. Not only do you get fit, but also get used to the noises and atmosphere of a zombie invasion. Watch the trailer for the app here.
Business Section: Investing Ideas
So what companies produce the best products to withstand the zombie invasion? Well you may have your own ideas, but I myself am going old school, especially where technology is concerned. I have a feeling that if this happens, it will simultaneously knockout the Internet and servers around the world, kind of like Terminator. In fact, it will be exactly like terminator, but with zombies.
Below is a list companies to get you started in your zombie survival and zombie invasion investment portfolio.
Use the Compar-O-Matic to analyze POP for some of the companies listed below:
1. Smith & Wesson Holding Corporation (SWHC, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Offers metal processing services and manufactures firearms and handcuffs as well as apparel and sportsmen’s articles. Market cap at $601.71M, most recent closing price at $9.21. I know from Call of Duty that my favorite weapon is the ACR, unfortunately Bushmaster isn’t a traded company. First rule of Zombie survival, shoot, and shoot often. Going to need multiple firearms if you’re going to survive this apocalyptic scenario.
2. Sturm, Ruger & Co. Inc. (RGR, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Engages in the design, manufacture, and sale of firearms in the United States. Market cap at $792.64M, most recent closing price at $41.40. .40 caliber sidearm would be a nice addition to the arsenal. The bigger the bullet the better.
3. Campbell Soup Co. (CPB, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Engages in the manufacture and marketing of branded convenience food products worldwide. Market cap at $10.3B, most recent closing price at $32.61. Canned food is essential for survival. I would opt for the Campbell’s Chunky, loaded with nutrition and everyone knows zombies hate vegetables.
4. Kraft Foods Inc. (KFT, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Together with its subsidiaries, manufactures and markets packaged food products worldwide. Market cap at $69.87B, most recent closing price at $39.41. Mr. Kraft is the owner of the New England Patriots and generally I would avoid endorsing his products as a Jets fan but in the case of Zombies, I don’t seem to have much choice. The prepackaged food selection provided by Kraft foods would most likely prove essential to survival.
5. Boeing Co. (BA, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Engages in the design, development, manufacture, sale, and support of commercial jetliners, military aircraft, satellites, missile defense, human space flight, and launch systems and services worldwide. Market cap at $54.85B, most recent closing price at $73.22. I’ve always wanted to fly an F18 Hornet, so I think a Zombie invasion would be a good time as ever. Zombies can’t fly and equipped with a 20mm M61 Vulcan cannon, this fighter would mow down the oncoming hoard. Flesh addicts wouldn’t stand a chance.
6. General Electric Company (GE, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Operates as a technology, service, and finance company worldwide. Market cap at $207.94B, most recent closing price at $19.62. GE makes the engines for the F18 and other planes. It’s nice to know I could hit speeds close to Mach 2 in my fighter. Need to get off the ground in a hurry if the Zombies are chasing me down.
7. Johnson & Johnson (JNJ, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Engages in the research and development, manufacture, and sale of various products in the health care field worldwide. Market cap at $186.42B, most recent closing price at $67.88. I’m not arrogant enough to think that I won’t pick up some sort of injury. Also, being able to help out other survivors is a big part of insuring the survival of the human race. Definitely will need a lot of Band-Aids.
8. Energizer Holdings Inc. (ENR, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Manufacturers and sells primary batteries, portable lighting, and personal care products worldwide. Market cap at $4.95B, most recent closing price at $75.66. Batteries, batteries, batteries. Flashlights, radios, you name it you’ll need batteries to power it. The Zombies will definitely go after electricity.
9. Motorola Solutions, Inc. (MSI, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Provides business and mission critical communication products and services for enterprise and government customers worldwide. Market cap at $13.42B, most recent closing price at $45.94. Radios will be essential and probably the only means of long distance communication. Every survivor will need a walkie-talkie.
10. Pepsico, Inc. (PEP, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Engages in the manufacture, marketing, and sale of foods, snacks, and carbonated and non-carbonated beverages worldwide. Market cap at $109.27B, most recent closing price at $69.87. Beverages will be essential for survival. Gatorade will be of especially high demand.
11. Bunge Limited (BG, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Engages in the agriculture and food businesses worldwide. Market cap at $8.95B, most recent closing price at $61.39. Farmland is going to be a scarce resource when the Zombies rise. It’s also a great idea to be invested in farmland for the long-term for when you successfully survive the zombie invasion. Don’t forget, they can only infect so many people before starving to death. Human brains are their only source of nourishment.
12. Adecoagro S.A. (AGRO, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Operates as an agricultural company in South America. Market cap at $1.17B, most recent closing price at $9.68. Solid investment for when you survive the invasion. I know I’m going to buy up all the real estate I can.
13. Cresud Sociedad An (CRESY, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Engages in the production of basic agricultural commodities in Brazil and other Latin American countries. Market cap at $389.8M, most recent closing price at $7.85.
14. Carnival Corporation (CCL, Earnings, Analysts, Financials): Operates as a cruise and vacation company. Market cap at $26.73B, most recent closing price at $32.94. Cruise ships are a great place to hide. You can load cruise ships up with food and defend them with relative ease from the middle of the Pacific. I assume zombies lack the necessary swimming or boats operation skills.
Written by Ryan Horch and Dan Connelly
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If you can drag you can drop you can trade. Start by 3/31/2012, to trade for $5 for life
Brilliant. Wonder what the zombies are buying? No Zynga?